Guests/Speakers
Allison J. Applebaum, PhD, is a clinical psychologist specializing in psycho-oncology, the field devoted to supporting the mental health of all individuals affected by cancer. She is an associate attending psychologist in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSK), and an associate professor of psychology in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City. Dr. Applebaum is the founding director of the Caregivers Clinic at MSK. The Caregivers Clinic was the first of its kind and provides targeted psychosocial support to caregivers—family members and friends—of patients receiving cancer care at MSK.
Gail and Jim Fackler: Jim Fackler is a Vietnam veteran living with small cell lung cancer. His stage 4 lung cancer has metastasized to his brain, hip, and abdomen. Right now, Jim is NED. Jim and his wife, Gail, love to travel, but treatments for his lung cancer have impacted his mobility and speech, limiting their travels. Gail is a full-time caregiver for Jim.
Caregiving Isn’t Just a Role—It’s a Journey with Lung Cancer
When a loved one is diagnosed with lung cancer, caregivers are often thrust into a role they never expected—one filled with emotional strain, medical complexity, and life-altering responsibility. Hope With Answers hosts Mitch Jelniker and Diane Mulligan guide listeners through this often invisible journey, uncovering the emotional and psychological toll of caregiving.
Dr. Allison Applebaum, founding director of the Caregiver Clinic at Memorial Sloan Kettering, shares eye-opening insights about a hidden mental health crisis: caregivers frequently experience anxiety, depression, and PTSD at even higher rates than the patients they support. Her work is changing how hospitals approach caregiver support, building systems that recognize and respond to caregiver distress before it reaches a breaking point.
“Caregiving is certainly something that touches each and every one of us, but we can prevent severe mental health challenges. We can prevent depression and anxiety. We can give caregivers the tools and coping strategies, strategies that they need to cope more effectively with the inevitable challenges down the line.”
Managing the Guilt Paradox
The realities caregivers face are overwhelming—juggling medical appointments, absorbing complex information from multiple specialists, making difficult life decisions, and managing the “guilt paradox,” where taking even a moment of rest sparks feelings of shame. Dr. Applebaum explains that this guilt is often a red flag signaling that a caregiver’s own health is being neglected.
These insights come to life through the story of Gail and Jim Fackler. When Jim was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer, the couple’s world turned upside down. Gail speaks openly about the exhausting physical demands, the emotional strain, and the loss of her identity beyond caregiving. Jim, once the one helping others, wrestles with the discomfort of needing care himself. Despite these struggles, they’ve redefined joy—now found in quiet moments, daily routines, and simply having another day together.
Practical Caregiving Strategies
Throughout the conversation, practical strategies emerge: setting clear boundaries, maintaining detailed task lists, being specific when accepting help, and carving out time for self-care. Both Dr. Applebaum and the Facklers emphasize the power of community and connection as lifelines for caregivers.
Their message is clear: caregiving is not just a role—it’s a journey that requires support, compassion, and resources. And no caregiver should have to walk that path alone.
